Keith Gaughan

An attempt at public introspection


The Weight Plan

· 2min

Feck, I’d might as well post it now.

  • Buy a scales.
  • Stop with the snackfood—no sweets, with the possible exception of mints.
  • No soft drinks. Tea is ok, coffee is borderline. Fruit juice and water. Mostly water. Prefer fruit juice if the water isn’t good.
  • Stop with the rolls every day: buy salads sometimes instead. Get a fork for work.
  • Don’t give into laziness and go to MacDonalds with everybody else before gaming. In fact, don’t eat that crap at all.
  • Get the bike back from the college. Bugger that lock! It’s probably rusted to hell now.
  • Three weetabix, not four, you fat bastard! And no additives except milk (the regular stuff is just fine) and possibly fruit. A cup of tea in the morning is also good. Try and broaden your breakfast after a month. A big breakfast is no bad thing as long as you use it during the day.
  • Stop with the hot chocolate: it’s not winter yet!
  • Finish all the food sitting in the fridge, your cupboard, and on the shelf. (Aside: if this seems to conflict with the plan, it doesn’t. The idea is to get rid of all the bad crap, replacing it with good crap, and cooking decent meals with various crap. Crap.)
  • Find some good way of exercising and integrate it into your routine (hah!) in the next two months. This is to speed up the metabolism a bit if nothing else.
  • Make sure that exercise builds up stomach muscles and back muscles. This is to help with back ache. Need to improve posture too.
  • Research insomnia and ways to relieve it.
  • No eating after 7pm except for maybe a sandwich. Liquids only after 9pm.
  • Don’t stay in work all day: get in early and leave at about 6pm. Cook meals, man! It’s not as if you’re not able to!

That’s the nutshell. Maybe I’m getting myself to do too much, but I don’t care. If I succeed in only a fraction of this, it’s worth it. There’s more, but it’s not worth explaining.

Yes Pete, I was meant to leave ages ago, but bugger it.